On nights like this

When the world's a

bit amiss

And the lights go down

Across the trailer park

I get down

I feel had

I feel on

the verge of going mad

And then it's time to

punch the clock

I put on some make up

And turn up the

tape deck

And put the wig

back on my head

Suddenly I'm

Miss Midwest

Midnight Checkout Queen

Until I head home

And I put myself to bed

I look back

on where I'm from

Look at the woman

I've become

And the strangest

things seem

suddenly routine

I look up from my

Vermouth on the rocks

A gift wrapped

wig still in the box

Of towering velveteen

I put on some make up

And some LaVern Baker

And pull the wig down

from the shelf

Suddenly I'm

Miss Beehive 1963

Until I wake up

Then I turn back

to myself

Some girls they have

natural ease

They wear it

any way they please

With their

French flip curls

And perfumed magazines

Wear it up

Let it down

This is the best way

that I've found

To be the best

you've ever seen

I put on some make up

And turn up the

eight track

I'm pulling the wig

down from the shelf

Suddenly I'm

Miss Farrah Fawcett

from TV

Until I wake up

Then I turn back

to myself

Shag bi level bob

Dorothy Hammil do

Sausage curls

chicken wings

It's all because of you

With your blow dried

feather back

Toni home wave too

flip fro frizz flop

It's all because of you

It's all because of you

It's all because of you

Ok everybody

I put on some make up

Turn up the

eight track

And I'm pulling the wig

down from the shelf

Suddenly I'm

this punk rock star

of stage and screen

And I ain't ever

I'm never turning back