Deep in the suburbs of New Jersey

In the basement of the Sexbang house

You are the hero with the heart of a god

Yet you're barely the size of a mouse

You can see the nightly news on TV

As you race on the wheel of your cage

Watching as society all goes to s**t

Your tiny body filling with rage

Galaxy Hamster! Galaxy Hamster!

Your training is almost complete

Galaxy Hamster! Galaxy Hamster!

Now unleash your powerful scream

(squeak)

Ever since the battle of Gerbulon V

The galaxy was ripped in twain

The rodents of the Northern Alliance were called

To defend those who had not been slain

The fates of the goldfish and snakes had aligned

United by a common foe

To banish the hamster king from his command

But one hero could save the throne

Only the dead have seen the end of war!

Galaxy Hamster! Galaxy Hamster!

A savior of all those who squeak

Galaxy Hamster! Galaxy Hamster!

You store all your wrath in your cheeks!

Galaxy Hamster! Galaxy Hamster!

Dan, are you playing with your small pets?

No dad! Don't come in my room!

Galaxy Hamster?

Sweet hamster you have saved the galaxy

Fill your cheeks with sunflower seeds of victory

You did not stop 'til your mission was through

You just died of natural causes at the old age of two

Ride on the wings of a rainbow

You're free to go fly

To a cage in the sky

Dad, I need a new Galaxy Hamster!