Oh

The fire's burning slow

Now where's that mistletoe

Dear

It's getting kind of hot in here

I need a taste of Christmas cheer

(I hope he gets here quick, I need a St. Nick fix)

Oooo-eee

I just want him to be

All wrapped up for me

(Santa's never been this hard to resist)

But Santa never used to look like this

He's traded in his reindeer for a limousine

He's wearing purple trousers instead of red and green

This Christmas I want something I never had

(This Christmas I want something I never had)

'Cause Santa's got a brand new bag

Oh-oh

Now

I got to got to find out how

To make him want to settle down

(I've got a big fat kiss right at the top of my list)

So

We can build a little candy home

And have a few elves of our own

(I want to sneak a peek at my surprise)

And see tradition metamorphosize

He's given up the cookies

And he's slimming down

He bought a little bungalow in Tinsel Town

This Christmas I want something I never had

(This Christmas I want something I never had)

'Cause Santa's got a brand new bag

(As he finds his Zen down on the kitchen floor)

(He lights a fat Cohiba from his humidor)

This Christmas I want something I never had

(This Christmas I want something I've never had)

Santa's got a brand new bag

He's got a Richenbacher and he's bleached his hair

He's rockin' to the rhythm with a Latin flair

This Christmas I want something I've never had

(This Christmas I want something I've never had)

'Cause Santa's got a brand new bag

He's reading Socrates and cooking French cuisine

He's pictured on the front of money magazine

This Christmas I want something I've never had

(This Christmas I want something I've never had)

'Cause Santa's got a

Santa's got a

Santa's got a brand new

Bag