You all know the Bible

Is made of Testaments

old and new

You been told

it's just those two parts

Or only one if you're a Jew

But what if I were to tell you

There's a fresh third part

out there

Which was found

by a hip new prophet

Who had a little

Donny Osmond flair?

Have you heard of

the All-American Prophet?

The blonde-haired,

blue-eyed voice of God

He didn't come

from the Middle East

Like those other holy men

No, God's favorite prophet

was All-American

I'm gonna take you back

to Biblical times, 1823

An American man

named Joe living on a farm

In the holy land

of Rochester, New York

You mean the Mormon Prophet

Joseph Smith?

That's right,

that young man spoke to God

He spoke to God?

and God said "Joe, people really

need to know that the Bible

Isn't two parts,

there's a part three

to the Bible, Joe

And I, God, have anointed you

to dig up this part three

That is buried by a tree

on a hill in your backyard"

Wow, God says

go to your backyard

and start digging?

That makes perfect sense

Joseph Smith

went up on that hill

And dug where he was told

And deep in the ground

Joseph found

shining plates of gold

"What are these Golden Plates?

Who buried them here and why?"

Then appeared an Angel

His name was Moroni

"I am Moroni"

The All-American Angel

My people lived here

long, long ago

This is a history of my race

Please read the words within

We were Jews

who met with Christ But we were

All-American

But don't let anybody

see these plates except for you

They are only for you to see

Even if people ask you to show

the Plates to them, don't

Just copy them

onto normal paper

Even though this might

make them question

If the Plates are real or not

This is sort of what God is

going for

Joseph took the Plates home

And wrote down

what he found inside

He turned those Plates into a book

Then he rushed

into town and cried

"Hey, God spoke to me

and gave me

This blessed ancient tome

He hath commanded me

to publish it

And stick it in every home"

Wow, so the Bible

is actually a trilogy

And The Book of Mormon is

Return of the Jedi?

I'm interested

Now many people

didn't believe the Prophet

Joseph Smith

They thought he'd made up

this part three

That was buried by a tree

on the hill in his backyard

(Liar)

But Joe said "This is no lie

I Speak to God all the time

And he told me to head West"

"So I'll take my part three

from the hill with the tree

Feel free

if you'd like to come along

with me

To the Promised Land"

"The Promised Land?"

"Paradise

on the West Coast

Nothing but

fruit and fields

as far as the eye can see"

Have you heard

of the All-American Prophet?

He found a brand new book

about Jesus Christ

We are following him

to Paradise

We call ourselves Mormon

And our new religion is

All-American

Wow, how much does it cost?

The Mormons kept on

searching for

That place to settle down

And every time

they thought they'd found it

They got kicked out of town

And even though

people wanted

To see the Golden Plates

Joseph never showed 'em

I have maggots in my scrotum

Umm okay,

well, anyway

Now comes the part of our story

That get a little bit sad

On the way

to the Promised Land

Mormons made people mad

Joseph was shot

by an angry mob

And knew he'd soon be done

"You must lead the people now

My good friend, Brigham Young"

"Oh God,

why are you letting me die

Without having me

show people the Plates

They'll have no proof

I was telling the truth or not

They'll have to believe it just

'cause

Oh,

I guess that's kinda what you were

going for"

The Prophet Joseph Smith

died for what he believed in

But his followers,

they kept heading West

And Brigham Young

led them to Paradise

A sparkling land in Utah called

Salt Lake City

And there, the Mormons multiplied

And made big Mormon families

Generation after generation

Until finally, they made me

And now it's my job to lead you

Where those early settlers were led

long ago

Have you heard

of the All-American Prophet?

(Kevin Price)

The next in line

to be the voice of God

(My best friend)

He's gonna do something incredible

And be Joseph Smith again

Because Kevin Price the Prophet

is All, all, all All-American

If you order now

We'll also

throw in a set of steak knives

All-American