Suicidal that's been for years
But I've been trying to shift them gears
But I learned manual way too late
How you feelin, eh, not too great (f**k all this)
Been puttin too much on my plate
Improved suicidal thoughts many to date
After rehab was doing pretty great
All my hope funneled down the grate
Now my urges even worse, needa be f**n sate
Tan color of my skin, I tie lowkey made it f**g red (what)
Still dead inside, sobriety make it f**g worse
Been living all these lies, don't even go to meetings
F**k all this recovery shit, for me it's only fleeting (gotta keep running)
Yea the system may just work if you work it
But I'm not working f**g shit
Cuz I'm still dreaming about the next f**g hit
Shits gonna hit the spot just like your b**h's c**t (ugh)
Back in survival
Life full of trials
God's obstacles lasting for f**g miles
Feel like I'm picking my death date outta aisles
Can't wait to go shoppin with the devil, wonder what I'll f**n get
Not going to Prada
Got a vendetta
For myself, just wanna put an apb out for my own health
Not one of the scholars
Got one of them collars
That shock myself every time I wanna f**g kill myself
Thinkin I'm a bother
Never wanna holler
At anyone, cuz I know they just don't really give no f**s
Know how it feels
Wanna hang from the ceils
I know it sucks, but we gotta keep on striving till our f**g time is up
Gotta keep going, gotta keep flowin, till the tank run outta f**g gas (woo)
How to keep going, knowing that my song will never be opened by anyone from my past (shit)
I'm a fallen angel, ring the bell need a savior
Don't know if my sobriety gon last
This time gotta savor cuz when I relapse
No one gon save ya, swallow that pill
Disciples decipher through the Shinigami eyes, using my body for origami, how does he die
F**d a lil' b**h fate, shit was f**n great, she said you can use me whenever you want
Now I got my life in my hands, b**h I'm the god of death, laughin at hades, hahaha, I taunt
Gonna pull off Mercedes, lookin at the ladies, oh shit, now they watching me flaunt
Back in survival
Life full of trials
God's obstacles lasting for f**g miles
Feel like I'm picking my death date outta aisles
Can't wait to go shoppin with the devil, wonder what I'll f**n get
Not going to Prada
Got a vendetta
For myself, just wanna put an apb out for my own health
Not one of the scholars
Got one of them collars
That shock myself every time I wanna f**g kill myself
Thinkin I'm a bother
Never wanna holler
At anyone, cuz I know they just don't really give no f**s
Know how it feels
Wanna hang from the ceils
I Know it sucks, but we gotta keep on striving till our f**g time is up
Sleepin on me while I just keep ascending
That's okay, know who's there when I'm trending
Yea my career stuck on pending
But in due time, these bars keep on mending
Sending shots at every disbeliever, might as well call me f**g Judas, who dis?
Shit sound fire, yea I know, thanks though, weren't there when I dropped the Mets
Remember, y'all my f**g pets
Let's take a dial back, this shit too fire
Hire me at all your shows, I may just bring the f**g h**s
Big dream chasin, no puttin out low blows
Just puttin out fire, achieving high goals
Say you wanna make it, better play yo role
Gotta keep up with me, better put on yo soles
