BETELGEUSE
You could use a buddy
Don't you want a pal?
(Yes I do! Yes I do!)
Girl, the way I see it
Your daddy should be leavin'
And you should stick around!
(And kill him!)
LYDIA
What?
BETELGEUSE
Nothing
So, Lydia, don't end yourself
Defend yourself
Daddy is the one you should maim
Together we'll e terminate, assassinate
LYDIA
No!
BETELGEUSE
The finer points can wait
But first you gotta say my name!
Go ahead and jump but
that won't stop him
Here you got a solid plan B option
I can bring your daddy so much pain
All you gotta do is say my name!
Girl, just say it three times in a row
Then you won't believe how far I'll go
I'm on the bench, but coach
Just put me in the game
All you gotta do is say my name
LYDIA, spoken
I don't know your name
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Well, I can't SAY it
LYDIA, spoken
How 'bout a game of charades?
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Yes, let's play it
LYDIA, spoken
Two words
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Right
LYDIA, spoken
Second word
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Uh huh
LYDIA, spoken
Drink?
BETELGEUSE, spoken
No
LYDIA, spoken
Beverage?
BETELGEUSE, spoken
No
LYDIA, spoken
Wine?
BETELGEUSE, spoken
No
LYDIA, spoken
Juice?
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Yes!
LYDIA, spoken
Okay
First word
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Okay
LYDIA, spoken
Bug?
BETELGEUSE, spoken
No
LYDIA, spoken
Ant?
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Close, but no
LYDIA, spoken
Beetle?
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Yes!
LYDIA, spoken
Betelgeuse?
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Wow, I'm impressed
And all you gotta do is
say my name three times
Three times in a row it must be spoken
Unbroken
Ready?
LYDIA, spoken
Yeah
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Okay, go...
LYDIA, spoken
Betelgeuse...
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Yes
LYDIA, spoken
Betelgeuse...
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Yes
LYDIA, spoken
Beeeeeeeeeeeeee....
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Oh, oh, this is gonna be so good
LYDIA, spoken
cause
BETELGEUSE, spoken
What?
LYDIA
You're so smart
A stand up bro
I'll think about your offer
Let you know
But I prefer my chances down below
Oh, Betelgeuse
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Yes!
LYDIA
Betelgeuse
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Yes!
LYDIA
Being young and female doesn't
mean that I'm an easy mark
I've been swimming with piranhas
I don't need a shark
Yes, life sucks
But not that much
Ok, Betelgeuse
Betelgeuse
Be a doll and spare the lecture
BETELGEUSE
I'm offering you a full time spectre
LYDIA
Are you any good?
BETELGEUSE
You bet'cha
Trust me, baby!
LYDIA
I just met ya
Really it's a flattering offer
BETELGEUSE
Don't you wanna see Dad suffer?
LYDIA
I think I'd rather just jump off
BETELGEUSE
No!
LYDIA
I may be suicidal
But Betelgeuse, it's not
as if I've lost my mind
BETELGEUSE, spoken
So
Playing hardball, huh?
You are tougher than you look
LYDIA, spoken
Just wanna make sure I
know who I'm working with
Got any references?
BARBARA, spoken
Lydia, there you are!
ADAM, spoken
Are you alright?
BETELGEUSE, spoken
A Dog, B Town, my old pals!
ADAM, spoken
Get away from her!
Lydia, this is a dangerously
unstable individual
BETELGEUSE POSESSES BARBARA AND ADAM
BARBARA
Betelgeuse is se y!
ADAM
Betelgeuse is smart!
BARBARA ADAM
BJ is a graduate of Juilliard!
He can help
We found him on Yelp
Our troubles all landed on the
day that we befriended him
Every word is the truth
Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse!
BARBARA, spoken
What the heck was that?
ADAM, spoken
So violating!
BETELGEUSE, spoken
There you go, kid. Couple
of five star reviews
LYDIA, spoken
What was that?
BETELGEUSE, spoken
That was possession
Any ghost can do that
in less than one lesson
LYDIA, spoken
Any ghost?
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Pretty much, any ghost'll do sure
LYDIA, spoken
Then, Betelgeuse, what
do I need you for?
BETELGEUSE
Woah, woah, woah woah woah!
Hold up hold up, girl, I'm your pal
They're sweet, but I'm a
demon straight from Hell
I know, I went a little hard on the sell
But we're BF F F F's forever!
Agh!
ADAM AND BARBARA, spoken
Lydia!
LYDIA, spoken
What? He was already dead
And you heard what he said, any
ghost can do that possession stuff
sung
We don't need that demon
The three of us alone
can wreck dad's evening
Together we can make a grown man weep
Guys, I got a dinner date to keep
ADAM, spoken
Okay, so what's the plan?
LYDIA (WITH ADAM BARBARA)
Teach dad a lesson
He's gonna freak when we possess him
So he wants the perfect daughter
I'll lead that lamb to slaughter
Yeah, I got game!
I'm gonna make him say my name
(Make him say your name)
I'll make him say my name
(Make him say your name)
I'll make him say my name
(Make him say your name)
Not running away!
I'll make him say my name!
BETELGEUSE
You could use a buddy
Don't you want a pal?
(Yes I do! Yes I do!)
Girl, the way I see it
Your daddy should be leavin'
And you should stick around!
(And kill him!)
BETELGEUSE
Nothing
So, Lydia, don't end yourself
Defend yourself
Daddy is the one you should maim
Together we'll e terminate, assassinate
BETELGEUSE
The finer points can wait
But first you gotta say my name!
Go ahead and jump but
that won't stop him
Here you got a solid plan B option
I can bring your daddy so much pain
All you gotta do is say my name!
Girl, just say it three times in a row
Then you won't believe how far I'll go
I'm on the bench, but coach
Just put me in the game
All you gotta do is say my name
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Well, I can't SAY it
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Yes, let's play it
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Right
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Uh huh
BETELGEUSE, spoken
No
BETELGEUSE, spoken
No
BETELGEUSE, spoken
No
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Yes!
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Okay
BETELGEUSE, spoken
No
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Close, but no
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Yes!
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Wow, I'm impressed
And all you gotta do is
say my name three times
Three times in a row it must be spoken
Unbroken
Ready?
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Okay, go...
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Yes
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Yes
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Oh, oh, this is gonna be so good
BETELGEUSE, spoken
What?
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Yes!
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Yes!
BETELGEUSE
I'm offering you a full time spectre
BETELGEUSE
You bet'cha
Trust me, baby!
BETELGEUSE
Don't you wanna see Dad suffer?
BETELGEUSE
No!
BETELGEUSE, spoken
So
Playing hardball, huh?
You are tougher than you look
BETELGEUSE, spoken
A Dog, B Town, my old pals!
BETELGEUSE POSESSES BARBARA AND ADAM
BETELGEUSE, spoken
There you go, kid. Couple
of five star reviews
BETELGEUSE, spoken
That was possession
Any ghost can do that
in less than one lesson
BETELGEUSE, spoken
Pretty much, any ghost'll do sure
BETELGEUSE
Woah, woah, woah woah woah!
Hold up hold up, girl, I'm your pal
They're sweet, but I'm a
demon straight from Hell
I know, I went a little hard on the sell
But we're BF F F F's forever!
Agh!
LYDIA
What?
LYDIA
No!
LYDIA, spoken
I don't know your name
LYDIA, spoken
How 'bout a game of charades?
LYDIA, spoken
Two words
LYDIA, spoken
Second word
LYDIA, spoken
Drink?
LYDIA, spoken
Beverage?
LYDIA, spoken
Wine?
LYDIA, spoken
Juice?
LYDIA, spoken
Okay
First word
LYDIA, spoken
Bug?
LYDIA, spoken
Ant?
LYDIA, spoken
Beetle?
LYDIA, spoken
Betelgeuse?
LYDIA, spoken
Yeah
LYDIA, spoken
Betelgeuse...
LYDIA, spoken
Betelgeuse...
LYDIA, spoken
Beeeeeeeeeeeeee....
LYDIA, spoken
cause
LYDIA
You're so smart
A stand up bro
I'll think about your offer
Let you know
But I prefer my chances down below
Oh, Betelgeuse
LYDIA
Betelgeuse
LYDIA
Being young and female doesn't
mean that I'm an easy mark
I've been swimming with piranhas
I don't need a shark
Yes, life sucks
But not that much
Ok, Betelgeuse
Betelgeuse
Be a doll and spare the lecture
LYDIA
Are you any good?
LYDIA
I just met ya
Really it's a flattering offer
LYDIA
I think I'd rather just jump off
LYDIA
I may be suicidal
But Betelgeuse, it's not
as if I've lost my mind
LYDIA, spoken
Just wanna make sure I
know who I'm working with
Got any references?
BETELGEUSE POSESSES BARBARA AND ADAM
LYDIA, spoken
What was that?
LYDIA, spoken
Any ghost?
LYDIA, spoken
Then, Betelgeuse, what
do I need you for?
LYDIA, spoken
What? He was already dead
And you heard what he said, any
ghost can do that possession stuff
sung
We don't need that demon
The three of us alone
can wreck dad's evening
Together we can make a grown man weep
Guys, I got a dinner date to keep
LYDIA (WITH ADAM BARBARA)
Teach dad a lesson
He's gonna freak when we possess him
So he wants the perfect daughter
I'll lead that lamb to slaughter
Yeah, I got game!
I'm gonna make him say my name
I'll make him say my name
I'll make him say my name
Not running away!
I'll make him say my name!
ADAM, spoken
Are you alright?
ADAM, spoken
Get away from her!
Lydia, this is a dangerously
unstable individual
BETELGEUSE POSESSES BARBARA AND ADAM
ADAM
Betelgeuse is smart!
BARBARA ADAM
BJ is a graduate of Juilliard!
He can help
We found him on Yelp
Our troubles all landed on the
day that we befriended him
Every word is the truth
Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse!
ADAM, spoken
So violating!
ADAM AND BARBARA, spoken
Lydia!
ADAM, spoken
Okay, so what's the plan?
(Make him say your name)
(Make him say your name)
(Make him say your name)
BARBARA, spoken
Lydia, there you are!
BETELGEUSE POSESSES BARBARA AND ADAM
BARBARA
Betelgeuse is se y!
BARBARA ADAM
BJ is a graduate of Juilliard!
He can help
We found him on Yelp
Our troubles all landed on the
day that we befriended him
Every word is the truth
Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse!
BARBARA, spoken
What the heck was that?
ADAM AND BARBARA, spoken
Lydia!
(Make him say your name)
(Make him say your name)
(Make him say your name)
