This battle's gonna end

like every argument does

With you kissing my ass

and begging me for a rub

I made a map motherf**ker

and i'm reading it too

Gives me specific directions

how to f**k with you

I know that you like to think

you're so macho

But you smell like

ballsacks and nachos

I work. While you and your boyfriend Steve

Drink and play sports

in a Fantasy League

You're as sharp as a stick,

that I rub on my lips

So go ahead take a shot,

I'm sure that you'll miss

Like the laundry, the toilet,

the grocery list

If you'd stop f**king up

I wouldn't have to get pissed

[Verse 2: Adam] My life was fine 'till

you had to come along and wreck it

Could you please

just shut your face for ten seconds?

You cry about everything,

but can't decide what you want

"I'm hungry", "I'm fat",

"I'm cold", "I'm hot"

You call it complex,

but yo I'd call you a mess

You take two hours to cum,

three more to get dressed!

You got a lotion for this?

Got a cream for that?

Got any perfume that smells

like get the f**k off my back?

When things are good they're great,

and it's like I'm dreamin'

Until your junk starts bleedin'

and you turn to a demon

It ain't summer Eve,

don't try to play me like a douche

You wanna bite on my fruit

well you can swallow the truth!

[Verse 3: Eve] Don't. even. bring up swallow

The first man on Earth

ain't a tough act to follow

One pump chump

and you're hung like a weasel

Ditch the fig leaf,

get yourself a pine needle

You want alone time?

Have it! In fact

Suck your own dick,

and shave your own back

That apple's the best thing I bit so far

Now I see how much of a d**k you are

[Verse 4: Adam] I wasn't listening,

are you still flapping those lips?

I was just thinking,

yo did I give up a rib for this?

Woman, I just don't know what your problem is

All I know is you're acting

like a colossal bitch!

Adam:I'm sorry

Eve:..I'm sorry, too

Adam: Alright, nice!

Eve:Don't even think about it!

Adam: Okay, that's fine, we can eat