Here we are dear old friend

You and I drunk again

Laughs have been had

And tears have been shed

Maybe the whiskey's gone to my head

But if I were gay

I would give you my heart

And if I were gay

You'd be my work of art

And if I were gay

We would swim in romance

But I'm not gay

So get your hand out of my pants

It's not that I don't care I do

I just don't see myself in you

Another time another scene

I'd be right behind you

If you know what I mean

'Cause if I were gay

I would give you my soul

And if I were gay

I would give you my whole being

And if I were gay

We would tear down the walls

But I'm not gay

So won't you stop cupping my hand

We've never hugged

We've never kissed

I've never been intimate with your fist

But you have opened brand new doors

Get over here and drop your drawers