I'd like to find the guy

Who done me wrong

And stuck my faget arse up

On this Christmas tree

Who put the stump

In my rump-ba-bump-ba-bump

Who took and jammed it

In my ram-a-lam-a-ding dong

Who stood the wood

Where I poop-she-poop-she-poop

Who put the stick

Up my hipty-dipty-dip

Who was that man

He shoved it up my can

And left me stranded on this Christmas tree Yeah )

When this angel heard

Chop-ba-ba-bop di-chop-ba-ba-bop

A dreadful fear went right into my heart

Those pine tree needles sting me

Ram-a-jam-a-ram-a-jammin' in my ding dong

You'll never know how much that smarts Hooah )

So who put the stump

In my rump-ba-bump-ba-bump

Who took and jammed it

In my ram-a-lam-a-ding dong

Who stood the wood

Where I poop-she-poop-she-poop

Who put the stick

Up my hipty-dipty-dip

Who took that bush

And crammed it in my tush

He made this angel beg for mercy please Yow )

Each night when I'm alone

Scratchity scratchity scratchity scratchity

Scratchity scratchity shoop

It sets my tiny bottom all aglow

And every time I wiggle

Slipty-din-de-din slipty-din-de-din

A little further in it goes Ohhh/Yeah )

Rump-ba-bump-ba-bump

Ram-a-lam-a ding dong

Slipty-din-de-din

Poopity poopity shoop

Rump-ba-bump-ba-bump

Ram-a-lam-a ding dong

Slipty-din-de-din