Written by:Stephen Lynch
When Grandfather dies
Life will be strange
When Grandfather dies
My whole world will change
When Grandfather dies
I'll scream and I'll yell
'Coz I'll be f**king rich as hell
So Grandfather die
Don't keep me in suspense
So Grandfather cough
Up that inheritance
So Grandfather don't
Hold on another day
I love you to death
But I gots bills to pay
A stroke would be nice
Disease would be cool
I'll scatter his ashes
In my new swimming pool
I'll party with Heff
I'll dine with the Queen
So what's say we unplug that machine
Oh Grandfather die
Before the fiscal year
Oh Grandfather I wish Kevorkian were here
Oh Grandfather fly
Just take your final bow
Oh Grandfather die
Family hates you any how
For God sakes you must be as old as the Sun
Your social security number is one
Your deaf dumb and blind and an amputee
You donate your blood every time that you pee
Your arthritis acts up whenever it rains
Your so old your penis has varicose veins
Oh why don't you die Grampa
Why must you fight
You old mother f**ker
Just walk toward the god damned light
Walk toward the light old man
Walk toward the light old man
It's all over now my Grandad is dead
A mysterious blow to his wrinkled old head
Before I collect a small oversight
But everything should work alright
I'll start working on my Grandma tonight